I will never EVER complain about anything being tough in my life again. Especially after watching this incredible young man!

School is back in session throughout Okaloosa County. Most parents are rejoicing as their kids, their kids friends and the friends of your kids friends are no longer parading throughout their home yelling, staying up til all hours, eating everything in site like a swarm of marauding locusts out of control...oh, and let's not forget using you like a rapid transit system driving everyone everywhere everyday all summer long.

...and then we have the OTHER parents. The first timers. Teary eyed as their little ones head off singing , "The wheels on the bus go round and round". Just so you know, from parents that I have talked to over the years, this feeling only lasts until about 5th grade. After that... get a good prescription plan for yourself.

There IS some advise that I can pass onto you from personal experience for the newbies. Take an active role in your childs time at school. Especially the little ones. Do the little things:

• Walk with them to the bus stop (They'll let you know when it's not COOL to be seen with you eventually).
• Find out if your kids school allows parents to eat lunch with them (I loved doing this with my girls and I always got extra Frito Bake from the lunch lady).
• When field day rolls around do everything you can to be there to cheer your child on and watch them participate (Heck, my favorite part was just watching my girls march out with their little classroom chairs).
• Attend all the school plays and musical events (even if your kid does nothing but hold a paper snowflake in the Christmas play or jingles a bell while doing Jingle Bells at the mall, take pictures or a video. It's a big deal to them)

...and whatever you do, don't blow off your childs school activities. Don't assume your work will not give you the time to do these things with your kids. You'll be surprised at how flexible some employers can be when it comes to things like this. In some cases, it can shine a positive light on you as an employee.  

Just remember, it doesn't matter if you know that "I" comes before "E" except after "C" or why is the sky blue? Your children will enjoy school more if you, as a parent, just takes an active role and show some interest.

Every once in awhile I, Skip Davis, actually has too much time on his hands. Yep...and I gotta tell you that when that does happens it's a bad thing. Because that's when I start thinkin' 'bout stuff. Random stuff. Stuff that most folk don't think about probably in their entire life. Maybe I am the chosen one to think about random stuff for those who do not. In any case, here's some recent stuff I saw that caused my pea-sized brain just recently:

The radio and tv commercials for tax relief - They always say things like, "If you haven't paid taxes in recent years." HELLO? Why aren't these people in jail? Man, if owed 27 cents to Uncle Sam, you can bet on April 16th they would have my house surrounded and try to flush me out to tear gas.
 

Cheese in a can - Gotta wonder about what whiz kid (get it? whiz?) sat there and said, "Man, if ONLY there was more spray on food products!" Gotta admit, he must've been a pretty good sales guy when pitching the idea for some Wall Street exec to say, "Cheese and compressed air in a can. Hmmm. I LOVE IT!"
 

Braille on drive up ATM's - I can understand the whole "full service" banking thing, but C'MON! Why not just have meat flavored buttons on the ATM's to make it easier for the seeing eye dogs to punch in their owners PIN number.

Pre-made PB & J sandwiches - IN THE FROZEN SECTION! How sad is it when you can't even say, "My momma use to make the best PB&J sandwiches when I was a kid". Now kids will grow up and tell their kids, "My momma use the THAW out the best PB&J sandwiches." And don't even give me that, "It's a real time saver crap." If you can't make enough time to make your child a simple stinkin' sandwich, I question your parenting ability. (*steps off soapbox*)
 

Speedometers - Just happened to glance over at the speedometer on my wife's Honda Odessey van and noticed it went up to 160 mph. 160 MPH!? Why do car manufacturers put speeds on speedometers that vehicles are incapable of reaching unless you were to drop them from the space shuttle as it was orbiting by. 160 MPH!? It's a van! No kid needs to be at soccer practice that quickly!
 

Pickled eggs - Some convenience stores will have a gallon jar of these just sittin' there waitin' for the next sucker...er...customer. And someone is buyin' 'em too. Although I have never witnessed a purchase. Ever noticed how the jar is never full? Always two to three eggs just sittin' there in that pink murkey liquid. Nothing incredible OR edible about these little gems.
 

Pharmaceuticals - Most commercials in tv now are about drugs to make our lives better. I'm depressed. I can't pee. I pee too much. I sneeze a lot. 5 seconds of the commercials gives you the name of the wonder drug and the other 55 seconds warns you of fatigue, drop in blood pressure, loss of hearing, paranoia, suicidal thoughts ...Suicidal thoughts?! ...and my favorite part is when they claim, "...although these symptoms are rare." My question is, "At what point did the FDA say 'as long as the suicides are kept at a reasonable level, we'll okay it?'"

Oysters - How desperate was the first person to eat one of these? Who took this crusty, barnacle like thing and thought to pop it open? Then look at what has the consistency of snot and say, "I should probably eat this!" Must've been like the first frat boy (they eat anything to be cool)

Well, I'm gonna wrap it up. Try to find something to keep me busy. This thinkin' thing hurts my head.

First let me say that I am sorry for my lack of blog lately. It is wrong for me to deprive my public from the mass amounts of wisdom that roams freely in my massive cranial cavity. With that said, let me share my latest.

The last few days we have caught a glimpse of what it must've been like for Noah when the 40 days and 40 nights of rains came. As always during this time, the phones in the studio are always lighting up. So much, in fact, our engineer has to change the bulbs out every two to three hours. What could it be that has everyone's undies in a twist? Here's a sample, "...hey, Skip. Would you PLEEEEEEZE tell everyone to put their lights on!" On days like we have been experiencing, I don't even answer the studio line with my usually chipper, "1055 The Wolf, can I help you?" instead it's, "..yes. I'll tell 'em to put their lights on. Thank you."

In all my 30 years of hearing these complaints I have been able to make a simple deduction. These people, who cause us such grief on the dark rainy roads, obviously do not listen to 1055 The Wolf. Yes, I know it is hard to believe, but that can be the only explanation. Wolf listeners are smart. Wolf listeners know better. Wolf listeners are not morons.

So today, on the rainiest of all the days we have had this week, I want all Wolf listeners to know that, I, Skip Davis, took it upon myself to spread some Wolf-sense to the moronic masses. While coming into work today, I encountered 7, count 'em, 7 vehicles without their lights on in a driving rain. Did I flash my lights to let them know? ...no, I did not... Did I honk my horn and wave frantically? ....no, I did not... Did I resort to a universal gesture to show my displeasure? ...thought about it, but did not... Here is what I did:

• Vehicle #1 I encountered was in my neighborhood. I rolled down my window. Waved him down and asked politely if they would please put their lights on...and they did.
• Vehicle #2 was at a Tom Thumb. As a walked out with my beverage, I noticed a car ready to pull out at which time a tapped on the window and asked politely if they too, would please put their lights on...and they did.

...here's the best one..

• Vehicles 3 thru 7 were stopped at a stop light and all in a row in front of me. I knew the light would take a while so I stepped out of my vehicle, in the rain, tapped on the window of each and every one of them and ...you guessed it...I asked politely if they would please put their lights on. All but one did so. The one who didn't, gave me the universal gesture to show their displeasure. I am assuming that person listened to rap and was beyond help.

The way I look at it...6 outta 7 ain't bad. I was actually surprised at how compliant most of the drivers were, but then again, I am a big imposing figure that looks like he could snap you like a twig. I don't think that had anything to do with it though. Do you?...WELL, DO YOU?!
 

CMT Awards last night were quite a show. Didn't care much for goofy banter between awards (i.e. the stupid fake Reba bit). Performances were outstanding though. Longtime listener Richard Duke brought up an interesting thought while watching Zac Brown perform. Doesn't he look a lot like Yukon Cornelius? Separated at birth?

Now there is proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that 1055 THE WOLF is truly worldwide! About a year ago, Daniel Lawson came to visit his aunt Linda Wheeler, here in Ft Walton Beach. Daniel made quite a trip to get here as he came all the way from England. Linda has been a long time fan and introduced Daniel to The Wolf and he loved it! Well, he went back across the big pond before we had a chance to meet. Daniel sent me an e-mail telling me about the great time he had here and asked if it would be possible to get a Wolf shirt. He said when he got it, he would proudly wear it in front of Buckingham Palace in London. Just got the pic with our newest Wolf fan showing that he is a man of his word. ...(It's great Brit's like Daniel that makes you just want to forget all about that whole disagreement over the colonies and learn to play soccer....er...I mean, football.)

The other day I made mention of the Memorial Day weekend by saying, “…take time out to remember those who gave their lives for the freedoms that we take for granted everyday.” We ALL do it. The taking for granted part that is. This is a big weekend with a big meaning. It doesn’t take that long to remember…anything! But, I’ll bet you remembered to buy toilet paper on the way home. Did you stop to think how lucky you were to have toilet paper in the first place? Heck, some countries you have to stand in line and are lucky if you get one lousy roll. Of course, I’m using TP as an example of the simple things we have that are a result of what men and women in uniform have given us the right to have.

Something else about this weekend. People that truly do not appreciate our men and women in uniform. This weekend I actually overheard someone say, “ God, I’m so sick of hearing military this and military that in this town.” I couldn’t make out where it came from, but if I had, they would have got an ear full. Let me let you in on a little history lesson. In the early 1880’s, settlers from Walton County came to our area before Okaloosa County existed. In 1861, Camp Walton was a confederate military camp made up of the 1st Florida Regiment, which consisted of men from the Walton County Militia. The 1st Florida regiments camp was located in front of the Indian Temple Mound, which is now known as the Heritage Park and Cultural Center, and their mission was to protect the "Narrows" from Union ships.

Bottomline... Fort Walton Beach has ALWAYS had a military presence (except for the early native American inhabitants of course.) If that‘s a problem… we won‘t miss you. Heck. I’ll even help you pack. For the rest of us, look around you everyday. Look at what you have and are allowed to have. Look at where you can go and are allowed to go. Take just a small fraction of a moment everyday to say thanks to those men and women in uniform past and present for these things. Even if it’s to yourself. I think they deserve a bit more than a passing thought between a burger and a beer one weekend out of the year.
 

Just yesterday I told you that I had nuthin' to blog about. No complaints. No observations. Well, by golly, I got something for you today. Stupid doesn't even begin to describe what I saw today. In fact, what I saw today needs it's own word. "Hey Webster! Check this out and get on it!"

I am about to finish fueling up the Skip-mobile when two cars pull up to do the same. Except only one of the cars is actually gassin' up. The car beside me had what looked to be a young teenage girl driver. I am not really sure of the gender because she/he/whatever was bone thin and there were no discernable physical feature for positive I.D. (where's a CSI when you need one?) This...we'll say, person...gets out and then the person from the second vehicle walks over. Boney-Maroney then proceeds to try and open the gas door on the side of the car. I say "try" because Boney was pushing on one side to pop it open. When that didn't work, Boney pushed on the other side. After a couple of tries, it finally opened. Then....then, came the gas cap! Apparently Boney didn't have enough strength to turn the gas cap. MY ITTY BITTY GRANDCHILDREN CAN OPEN A FREAKIN' GAS CAP!!!

...but wait! It gets better...

When the gas cap is FINALLY off, the other person that pulled up put the gas in Boney's car. Apparently, it was Boney's momma. How sad is it when yer momma's gotta come and put gas in yer car for you. However, judging from the difficulty in getting the gas cap off, operating the gas pump would've been WAY to technical.

...but wait! It gets even better...

As I am witnessing this, I happen to notice that Skinny Mini has had a lit cigarette in their hand the entire time. At that point I said to them, "Uh, Hello? Really? Lit cigarette? Flammable substance? What part of this equation are you not getting?" Their response... "Oh... heh heh". THAT'S IT?! "Oh...Heh heh?" It was at that moment I realized two things. Stupidity IS hereditary! And Forrest Gump's mama was right. "Stupid is as stupid does!"

As I pulled away I kept looking in my rearview mirror and praying that I would see a mushroom cloud. Because then, I could rest assured, that the shallow end of the gene pool would have two less idiots in it.

For any of you that read these blogs from time to time, you know that once in a while I have something to complain about or like to point out the absurdity in day to day things. I gotta tell you, on this blog, I got nuthin'. What's my deal? Sure it would be easy to go on about global warming and making sure that whales poop regularly to save the planet (actually read that somewhere) , or the Gulf oil spill (because BP and our political leaders call me daily asking for my opinion on such matters), or Lindsay Lohan and other disasters (yes, they both fall under the same heading), but I like to go for the out of the ordinary. I AIN'T EVEN GOT ANY ORDINARY! How sad is it when an ordinary guy like me can't conjure up anything ordinary? Heck, the whole reason I am writing this blog is because I promised Big Nic I would share something with you once a week.

Hey, wait a minute....(*wheels turning inside head with smell of smoke*)

Maybe this IS my out of the ordinary. The fact that...I...Skip Davis, have nothing to say. Naw,(*shakes head*) can't be that simple. My God! Is this is what it's like to get old? Is this what I have to look forward to in my so called, "Golden Years"? Actually my blogs would probably be more interesting. At least I could write about shuffleboard, tapioca and the nurse who brought me my laxative...ah, but anyway... Today's blog? ...zip ...nada ...one big fat steamin' bowl of 100% USDA Grade A prime nuthin'!
 

This weekend we celebrate that woman who brought us into the world. She endured weight gain, swollen ankles, mood swings all over the charts, food cravings that would make a grown man hurl and then spent hours trying to pass the equivilant of a bowling ball through a garden hose ...It's our Momma! We should not take this lady for granted. She is always there for us through the boo-boo's and the "but mom, I love him" late night conversations.

She'll never tell you or maybe she has and you just weren't listening, but there are some things that get under mom's skin especially on the day named just for her and here they are:

Top Ten Mom's Pet Peeves on Mothers Day
#10 Kids raiding her purse for 20 bucks and only spending $5 on her present
#9 Cleaning the 2 fry pans, 3 pots and gravy boat that was used to make the special Mothers Day 1 Egg Omelet
#8 Another pair of elastic waistband pants
#7 The "Happy Mothers Day" call from the kid in college that's actually the "I Need Money" call
#6 Seeing anything with Kate Gosselin's picture on it
#5 Kids who wonder why you can't be as cool as Jimmy's mom
#4 Flowers ...with the big dirt clump still attached
#3 Having to clean up the big dirt clump that fell off the flowers
#2 Wire hangars

...and the #1 Mom Pet Peeve on Mothers Day...

While she's sitting at the bar with a really hot guy, walking up to her and saying, "Mommy, it's getting hot in the car"

Well, here I am another year older (actually Sunday May 2nd). Now while I don't really feel any older there are certain things that I feel age me instantly. One of them came this morning when I went to renew my drivers license. Just in case you didn't know, when you go to get your's renewed be prepared....REAL...prepared! What I thought would be a simple in and out process turned out to be one big ...long ...old man groaner! If you thought you could walk in and hand over your old license, take a new picture and "poof" ..new license? ...THINK AGAIN. I was told I needed my birth certificate, my social securiy number, and the deed to my house or proof that I resided here locally. There was also a lengthy list of other documents that would be considered acceptable. Of course, this happened to be the one day that there were no lines and no waiting. Just my luck I wasn't carrying my portfolio and all personal documentation dating back to the birth of my great great grandfather. Just to be sure, I think I'd better include all of my report cards and my perfect attendance certificates from elementary school. I have also put up some hoops in my backyard so I can practice jumping through them. I'm actually getting quite good at it.

Word to the wise? RENEW ONLINE!!! Unless you don't have a credit or debit card, then you have no choice but to walk in to get your license renewed. If you have plastic payment, you're good to go online and your license will be sent to you in about 7-10 days (The same amount of days I aged this morning walking in trying to get this done)

Living along the Emerald Coast we are blessed with some beautiful things to see and do. And this weekend was no exception. Now although many of you take in sights, I tend to take in things that you may or may not notice and scratch my head in the process. For instance:

• Sign on an Asian restaurant “Try our fresh susshi”
(Susshi? If you can’t spell it, chances are you can’t make it either)

• Sign at a drive thru restaurant “Now hiring ass managers”
(I’m not sure I want to know what this job entails…hee hee…get it? “entails?”)

• On the side of the road on south 85 a fully upholstered over stuffed chair
(To my knowledge this is the only redneck rest stop on 85)

• A guy at the gas station filling up his jet ski wearing a neck brace
(Something tells me his injury was above the neck)

…while we’re on the subject of watercraft

• Man loading up beer on his boat in an ice chest that was bigger than the gas tank of the boat itself
(The Florida Marine Patrol could save themselves A LOT of trouble by just cruising the gas stations in the morning and hand out tickets to people that have more gallons of beer than gas)

• A yard sale sign in what looked like pencil
(Obviously a sign made by a guy whose wife was trying to get him to get rid of his treasured stuff. Can’t read sign…can’t find yard sale… keep my stuff. This man is pure genius)

All this in one weekend! Whew! Anyway, you guys keep enjoying the sand, the surf, the beautiful sunsets and everything else the Emerald Coast has to offer. Me? I’ll be out there. And chances are good that if you ain’t lookin’… I am.
 

If you go to a Miranda Lambert concert, you had better be on your best behavior or be prepared to deal with Miranda herself! Gotta love this gal! This incident happened in Michigan just 5 days ago.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I gotta tell you, I thought for sure I was gonna need paramedcs this past weekend. Why? My heart was filled with so much American pride I thought it was gonna burst. Eglin's 75th Anniversary Airshow was fabulous. From the displays to the demonstrations. From the fly-overs and fly-bys to the pride of the United States Air Force, the Thunderbirds...oh, and the funnel cakes..heh heh. I felt like that little kid again when my dad was in the military and took us to the airshows. And when Tora! Tora! Tora! (Japanese WW2 fighter show) came on, I was so excited, I sent a text to my wife that must've sounded like it came from an 8yr old.

On a side note, I would also like to that those that gave me a good laugh at the airshow this past weekend. The people that said, "Oh no. We won't need a fan. The weather is too lovely". Only to have them rush over and grab a handful later. (We told you the flightline would get toasty). To the people in the stands that looked like hot dogs on a rotisserie. (flightline + lack of shade = BURN!) ...and finally, the one lady that gave me the biggest "point and chuckle" of them all! She was wearing ....wait for it....wait for it....high heels on a flightline! (To her date. If this was a first date, I'd put a nix on #2)

Now for the folks that really deserve thanks... to the base office of public affairs for your tireless effort, to the Eglin security force for being so patient with those drivers that have trouble following simple directions, to the support staffers that were everywhere ready to assist....and of course, to ALL The Wolf fans that stopped by our tent for Eglin Federal Credit Union fans and Wolf stickers.

That's all for now. Think I'll go out in front of the station, put my arms straight out on either side and run around making airplane noises...
 

I tend to stay up WAY past my bedtime. Of Course, you know what happens when you stay up as late as I do. You get a big dose of the most ridiculous commercials for the most ridculous products. I know that these commcercials are supposed to be geared toward people like you and me who look to simplify our lives. But I mean, REALLY? These people in these commercials are the biggest dorks on the face of the planet (assuming that they are even from this planet). Remember the Snuggie guy who was whoopin' it up in his Snuggie? If I was caught wearing one and thinkin' I was the life of the party like this boob, my "Man card" would not only be revoked, but there would be no chance of renewal.

...and NOW the parade of products for stupid people continues. Behold!  Something for people who are "egg impaired"

If you have this much trouble cracking a simple egg, stay out of the freakin' kitchen! Better yet... stay away from me!

I have always been known as a pretty easy goin' kinda guy. For the most part, very little rattles me. I am a pilar of stone in the face of ...well, anyway...you get the idea. There are some (little) things, however, that can melt my icey calm like a flamethrower on a popsicle. Top of the short list? People that can't seem to find a garbage can in the house. Now, I'll be the first to admit that I am no neat freak, but how hard is it to open a lid and place things inside.

This is my house. A garbage can will lye in wait in the kitchen. One of my two stepdaughters (somethimes both) will approach this refuse receptacle and, it is my guess, inexplicably stop short of actually getting the trash into the can. Trash will end up within a foot of the can, but not inside. Hmmmm.... Sometimes, it appears that a valiant effort was made, yet the trash ends up on top of the can. And then trash will be placed on top of the trash on top of the trash can ...again, hmmmm... Have my stepdaughters stumbled onto some mysterious force field that exists in the space time continuum that surrounds our trash cans? I have considered calling in all the great worldly minds in astro physics to investigate this phenomenon. Good thing I didn't waste their time. I figured out what it was all on my own. Garbage....is....ICKY! Yep....that's pretty much my conclusion. And we all know that icky things fall under the heading of MAN THINGS. What? The trash can was full? My bad. Forgot that it was a MAN THING to take it out. Put a new bag in the trash can? What was I thinking? It's a MAN THING to put a new bag in there.

I have to admit that I am more than just a little disappointed to find out that the whole trash can mystery was so easily solved. I was really hoping for some cosmic anomaly. Some portal to another world maybe. Some place where the inhabitants understand how the whole full trash can thing works. A place where there are NO MAN THINGS!

Once in a while something comes along that makes you say, "WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING!" Things like (and these are actual inventions):

• Braille on drive up ATM's (...I never could see that one)
• Wigs for cats (...yeah, because they are just that vain)
• Inflatable dart boards (...perfect for a REALLY quick game of darts)
• A pedal powered wheelchair (...hello? Why am I in the chair to begin with?)
• Battery powered battery chargers (...why not a solar powered sun?)
• Helicopter ejection seat (...excuse me, but wouldn't that make this like a REALLY BIG salad shooter?)

Well, now we have another addition to the list of mental marvels...The Dog Washing Machine

I am not a fan of PETA in anyway, but even I have a problem with Rover and the rinse cycle!

When I was just a Little Skipper, my momma and daddy always used to beat me to death with those words that must be in chapter one of the parenting handbook, "Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you." Of course, being only about 4 or 5 at the time, my only response was, "Huh?" Good Lord! I probably only had the vocabulary of about a hundred words at the time. What the heck did "unto" mean? As I got older, and somewhat wiser, I was able to figure out that the rough translation of this phrase was, "Be Nice!" Why didn't you say that sooner!?

I try to live by these words everyday even though there are some out there that are only interested in "doing unto" themselves and no one else. I got the chance to put my childhood lesson into play the other day. As I was walking into the grocery store a car pulled alongside me and a lady said, "Excuse me." As I was ready to respond, "Why yes I AM on the radio", she continued with, "I'm handicapped. Could you get someone to bring me a motorized shopping cart please?" While my ego was rapidly deflating I responded, "Sure". As I'm walking into the store to find an employee to take care of her request I thought, "Hey. Maybe this would be a good time to 'do unto' someone". So I hopped on a motorized shopping cart and made my trek to the parking lot where a happy and thankful lady waited.

As good as it made me feel, knowing that I made her happy and knowing that I made momma and daddy proud, I gotta tell you I do have a complaint. Them motorized shopping carts are too darn slow! Slap a V8 into those bad boys! I could shop the quarter mile in under 6 seconds! Zippin' through the dairy section. Flyin' through the meat department and roundin' the turn to produce... LEFT SIDE TIRES ONLY!  I'M GETTIN' A LITTLE LOOSE IN THE FROZEN SECTION! ...Ya know, this would be a great way for Jimmy Johnson's crew to make some extra money on the side. Until then though I guess I'll just plod along with all the other shoppers and continue "doing unto others" along the way.

I am going on record as saying that I am an Olympic junkie! Not the summer games ... run run jump throw... BORING! Now the winter games? That's a whole nuther story. One big two week adrenaline rush. The Luge, Skeleton, Bobsled, Snowboarding, Ski Jump (insane), Hockey, even the ice skating (if you can get around the whole pretty man thing). And yes, I stay up late to watch curling. Curling rocks! ...heh heh...get it? Curling uses stones and... ok, nevermind. There is one thing that REALLY makes me sit and take notice, the US gals on ice and snow.

First, you have Gold medal winner Lindsay Vonn. The Queen of Shooshing (...that's my pet name for her.) How can anyone look that good after flying down a slope at 70 mph in less than 2 minutes? Some of the other gals worth checking out, whether they are competing or just sitting there waxing their skis or sharpening their blades:
 

• Tanith Belbin - Pairs figure skater (...and quite the figure I might add)
• Allison Baver - Speed skater (You have to use slo-mo to see how purty she is)
• Kaley Bellamy, Jocelyne and Monique Lamoureux - Hockey (I would go to the penalty box for them. By the way, Jocelyne and Monique are identical twins)
• Lindsay Jacobellis - Snowboarding (Hasn't won anything, but she wins a Gold medal in my book)
• Nicole Joraanstad - Curling (I watched her and forgot there was a competition going on)
• Bree Schaaf - Bobsled (Momma always said, "Stay away from fast women!" Sorry mom.)

The list could go on, but I know you have wasted enough time at work reading this already and I wouldn't want you to get fired. As you watch these and other talented ladies competing for the gold, see if the same question doesn't pop into your head like it did mine, "How can there be any snow and ice left when these gals are so darn hot?"

After seing this, why would anyone want to go into the workforce. Unemployment looks REAL good!

This past weekend I volunteered to do something that, unlike most men, I really don't mind doing... grocery shopping. I am a smart shopper because I am a thinker when I shop for groceries. I grab my cart. I then head to the back of the store and work my way back to the front to the registers. Anal? Not at all. It's smart. Why shop all the way up and then all the way back down. You know what you want. You know where it is. You get it and your gone!

There are only two small problems I run into with this logic though. Walmart.... weekend.

This past weekend I did as I normally do...almost. Upon grabbing my shopping cart I noticed that the flow in the store was much slower... A LOT SLOWER! I knew then, that my "smart shopper" ideology wasn't gonna save me. So, I dropped to my knees and broke out into prayer, "...and deliver us from shopping, as we forgive those know not how to shop..." As I ventured into the human quicksand, all I could think about was the original Night of the Living Dead. People wandering like zombies throughout the store. Except these people had shopping carts. Each one examining each and every item they took off the shelves like some CSI looking for clues (insert Horatio Caine one liner here). I just wanted to scream, "IT'S PEAS YOU IDIOT!" If that wasn't bad enough, we have the people who shop while continually talking on the cell phone. ...AND WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT...they are dishing the dirt on what so and so said about so and so right in front of what I need and then give you "The Look", when you ask them politely to move. Finally, we have the motorized shopping carts. I know these are provided for those with special needs, but shouldn't there be some kind of drivers test first? I'm talkin' instructor with the clipboard - don't hit the cones - laminated "smile real purty fer yer" license and the whole nine yards.

All in all, I'm not sure exactly how long I was shopping, but I'm pretty sure the Walmart bakery owes me a birthday cake.
 

DISCLAIMER: The following is not some ramblings of some middle aged goober getting in touch with his own mortality during some mid-life meltdown.

There are some very important people in my life that I want to show my thanks to. I may show it or say it from time to time, but I wanted to put it in writing so that they may look at it everyday and know that I mean everyday even though I may not be around to let them know.

To my wife... Thank you for not expecting much and not asking for anymore even though you more than deserve it

To my daughters... Thank you for being just that... my daughters. You have never had to do anything more. Every father should be so blessed

To my stepdaughters... Thank you for accepting me. You always made me feel like I belonged in your lives

To my grandbubbas and grandbubbette... Thank you for making me smile at just the sound of your names. I like being Pop Pop

To my son-in-law... Thank you for loving my daughter, being a good daddy and making us feel safe at night

To my mother and father-in-law... Thank you for your patience, your tolerance and unwavering understanding

To my brothers-in-law... Although we rarely see each other, as an only child, I thank you. I like knowing that I have brothers.

...and finally, to you, the Wolf listener... Thank you for allowing me to come into your lives and be a part of your familes!

Every year I take a look at the past year and then look ahead to the new year and think about what could make this a better world. Not only for good ol' Skip Davis, but for each and every one of you too. I am a giver. It's what I do. With that said. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you:

THE SKIP DAVIS ANNUAL HOPES FOR THE NEW YEAR

• I HOPE to be able to go to the checkout at the grocery store and not have to see the names Brad, Angie, Jen, Kate, John, Oprah or any combination thereof.
• I HOPE McDonald's will make the McRib a regular menu item. (Actually I have been hoping for this since it was introduced in the early 90's. My persistance will pay off. I feel it in my bones)
• I HOPE that people driving along the Emerald Coast will someday realize that using your headlights at the appropriate time (fog, rain, DARKNESS!) does not contribute to global warming.
• I HOPE Hollywood will make a movie or tv show without any vampires or anyone who hunts vampires, resembles vampires,  has a pet bat or even ate Count Chocula as a child.
• I HOPE the tabloids and entertainment programs stop using the word "baby bump". (Did ya ever stop to think that maybe...just maybe...these gals just ate one to many Big Macs?)
• I HOPE to purchase my own full body scanner. (I think this would be so cool to take to my live remotes and maybe even Crab Island!)
• I HOPE that the makers of the "Snuggie" realize that no card carrying man would be caught dead or otherwise wearing one of these. (By the way, that guy that's just WAY too happy about wearing his Snuggie in the commercial, needs to turn in his "man card")
• I HOPE I can stop looking at women and wondering if they too have been with Tiger Woods.
• I HOPE they run out of ShamWows and Slap Chops. (That guy really creeps me out.)
• I HOPE we get the budget approval to make the door to our studio larger. (It is getting harder and harder for Big Nic to get his head through the door.)

I am going to keep this short and for good reason. Of all the fabulous movies that came out in 2009, how in the heck did we miss this gem? One of 2009's Top 10 most viewed movie trailers...WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?

As I stated in my last blog, I was having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit. Couldn't put my finger on why and still can't for that matter, but I can tell you it's beginning to feel a lot like ...something. Was it the trying to remember how many people I had to get something for? Was it the amount of money I spent after I realized how many people I had to get something for? Was it the crying once I saw the amount of money I spent after I realized how many people I had to get something for? More than likely, it was all of the above!

Something else that may have played a hand in getting me closer to roasting my chesnuts on an open fire. Christmas memories. I have three that stand out for me. When I was but a wee little Skippy, I was living in southern California and wanted one of those table-top hockey games ( ya know the ones with those flat metal guys for players) for Christmas. When that glorious day rolled around, I was disappointed when I didn't see this goliath size present under or near the tree. Unlike kids today, I took it all in stride and was happy with the presents I had already received. Just then my dad asks me to go get his slippers out of the closet in his bedroom. Being the good boy I was, I took that trek to the bedroom, opened the closet door and there was my equivalent of a Red Rider BB Gun... My Hockey game! Best part is, there was no way possible to shoot my eye out!

When I became a father, my little girls at Christmas was the only present I ever needed. This is kind of a strange memory though and one I learned a lesson from. It was the 80's and one of the coolest items out that year was Teddy Ruxpin. A little pricey back then, but worth it to see my little girls light up at the animated bear singing and telling stories. The morning came (I think the sun was up) and my little gals couldn't wait to tear into what Santa had left. One gift after another they went through. Tossing any clothes they may have received aside, because c'mon what kid wants clothes for Christmas? Then, there it was, the gift daddy had been waiting for them to open Teddy! They liked it! For a little while. They were kinda young and this was one of those gifts that required adult supervision. Who wants to keep calling in mom and dad to play with their new toy? See. Lesson learned.

Finally, there was the Christmas from just a couple of years ago. I like to play sports video games, but not to the point of needing an intervention. I was wanting a new hockey video game and dropped some well placed hints to the wife. A few days before Christmas, a commercial came on for a particular hockey video game. After the commercial I made the comment that the company who makes that particular hockey video game is probably one of the worst out there. Just then, the wife decides she has to got to the store. On Christmas Day I open a present with a nice new hockey video game and one I wanted. She then explained her immediate departure from a few nights before. The game I had lambasted after the commercial was the one she had originally purchased and she up and left to exchange it. It has been a running joke in our house ever since.

I think I'm ready to do this Christmas thing now. Hope you all have some great memories to remember and if you don't, who knows, this Christmas may give you plenty.